So, we decided to take the tour on the tall ship The Pride of Baltimore 2. There was to be a cannon battle with another tall ship, but really, I just wanted to be out on the ship. Totally new experience for me and me lovely wife Salma Gundy.
We boarded and were met by Greydog and Cantankerous Jan and much to our surprise and pleasure, Talderoy, Lichen, Tony Swatton and his beautiful wife or girlfriend. We didn't catch her name, but she was a cutey and had a great sense of humor, plus she laughed at my stupid jokes which always draws me to the lovely wimmins. There were a few other folks there as well. We met another couple from Oklahoma. Nice folks. Didn't get their names either. What is with that? Maybe I am just so self-centered it really doesn't matter to me. Anyhow, if you are those folks and you are reading this, send me an e-mail so's I can puts yer names up.
Before the ship got under way, Captain Superman (he looked like Superman) talked with us about safety and what to expect. He also told us that we may be required to assist in hauling line and other shipboard chores to get underway. Hmmmm. And I paid for this? Bastards.
Anyhow, we got underway and once out in the harbor they asked for volunteers. Well, me being so shy, I jumped right to it. Greydog had had an experience similar to this before and he knew how hard the work was so he held back and ridiculed me until he was the only man left standing with the wimmins. Finally, in order to prove that his testicles had not fallen into the briny deep, he joined us. Yep, he joined us just in time to not have any rope left to haul, so that bastard stood there looking like he was supervising us for all the pics.
Now let me tell you, that was some of the hardest work I have experienced. I mean, I have worked hard, but there is time to rest and/or adjust. This however was very strenuous. While there were probably 8 to 12 people hauling the lines at any one time, it felt as though I was the only one pulling on that line to raise the sails. I could not believe it.
My hat is off to the sailors and they have my total respect for while I did that work for maybe 15 minutes, they worked it the whole hour and 45 minute cruise. It was amazing, and fatiguing and fucking awesome. I cannot tell you how neat it was. My arms were all noodly, flopping around and I was parched and worn by the end, but it was such a super experience I am still excited about it.
It was great. We had to run around the ship from one spot to another to haul lines and we had to use our whole bodies to pull and it was just neat. One dude, very nice guy, ate shit behind me somewhere. Dude even bled. I think they pierced his ear just to indoctrinate him.
We toured in the harbor and had the little cannon battle which was fun and then made our way back. I will never forget that experience. I recommend that if you can do it, do it. Also, they are funded by donations so if you have a couple bucks please check out their site and make a donation.
The best part? We were in full pirate garb the whole time.
Once we got back we grabbed a bite to eat at Ding How in Fell's Point. I wasn't too thrilled with the food. It was good, but I was just not in the mood for Chinese food and it was very warm in the restaurant and, like all Chinese restaurants the refills of Diet Coke were not free. In all fairness, Cantakerous Jan, Greydog and Salma Gundy loved their dinners.
After that we went to crawl pubs, but since none of us are real drinkers (except Greydog, who I have to remind him to call his sponsor when he is drinking and the he reminds me that I am his sponsor) we went back to Shuckers. We had the same waitress, Emily, that we had the other night and she remembered our order. Very astute. She was cute, but definitely East Coast sense of humor. (That means she didn't laugh at my stupid jokes.) If you go there and see her tell her we said hello. Remind her she offered us some naughty drinks.
Me lovely wife Salma Gundy and I retired early and just relaxed and chilled together and then passed out. The room we had at the Admiral Fell Inn was very nice and the bed was amazingly comfortable. The next day we headed to the Inner Harbor for lunch and some souvineer shopping and a visit to the Science Museum.
We took a water taxi and went to Tir Na Nog's Irish pub for lunch. Amazing food and a great view of the harbor. We were right near the USS Constellation. Greydog shared with us the it technically is not the original USS Constellation. The Navy at the time had wanted to build a new ship. The government said no. The Navy asked if they could refurbish the USS Constellation. The government said yes. The Navy took apart the Constellation and refurbished it with entirely new everything up to code with modern ships. On the books it is a refurbishment. In reality, it was a whole new ship.
We made our way to the Science Museum. This was a hands-on center. It was fun. We dug up dinosaur bones, made our own dinosaurs, put on parkas and gloves for an expedition into the Arctic, we messed with swirly smokey things, we lifted ourselfs off the ground using pulleys, we played a stringless harp, we compared our genetic traits with other visitors (I found out that I matched 0 other people out of the last 100,00 who visited) we got shocked, I passed gas while in the body part areas and Salma Gundy experience my digestive system and we also petted an opossum named Olivia.
It was fun, but as all things, it too came to an end. We headed back to Fell's Point and bid farewell to Greydog and Cantakerous Jan for the evening. They had dinner with a friend and me lovely wife Salma Gundy and meself had a nice romantic meal at John Stevens, a pub and restaurant not far from the inn. I had crabcakes as I would not be getting any good ones again for awhile. I wept as I ate, knowing that they would be there and I would have "Red Lobster" fare.
At the end of our meal we met a very nice couple sitting at the table next to us. We chatted for a bit. I cannot remember their names either. And I should. The lovely lady mocked me for being a pirate and poked me in the eye twice. It hurt. I cried. I kidney punched her and we left. Well, we shook hands first, then left. If you are the couple we chatted with, remind of your names. Oh, wait, her name was Carol. The name of me dear old mother. And she mocked me like me dear old mother. And I kidney punched her like me dear old mother.
We met up with our cohorts after their dinner, grabbed some gelato and strolled along, laughing at random, silly stuff until we got the inn. We bid a fond farewell as they were leaving early in the morning. We always have a good time with Cantankerous Jan and Greydog. Isn't that special.
The next day we woke to the sound of rain pouring down. The weekend that gave us 70 degree weather to enjoy now gave us some good Eastern coastal rain. It was great. We had a nice little diner breakfast and I learned what scrapple is. While I am game for trying most oddball meals, (I have eaten shrimp heads and thousand year old eggs.) I was not game for scrapple. Scrapple is not affiliated with Snapple, nor Scrabble, nor apples, in fact it ain't really affiliated with much. It is what is left over after you make the bacon and the sausage. Now, bear in mind that sausage is not exactly prime meat (yes, I know, it can be, but by and large it ain't ). According the Wikipedia, Scrapple is a savory mush of pork scraps and trimmings combined with cornmeal and flour. Now, I don't know how you fit savory and "mush of pork scraps" together in one sentence, but there you go.
After the nice breakfast we hit a hat shop off the square. The man running the shop, Keith, was superb. Great sense of humor and, yes, he laughed at my stupid jokes. Salma Gundy bought a hat that makes her look like Oliver. I think she is adorable. Anyhow, if you are in the market for a hat, check out the website www.hatsinthebelfry.com. If you go to Fell's Point and see Keith, tell him Captain Dunn sent ya.
The time had come. Our shuttle was fast approaching and our weekend away was coming to a close. We bid farewell to our desk manager/concierge Ali (from Turkey), thanked our Porter John (I think) and made our way to the airport.
Now, Ali was a great guy and taught me some inappropriate saying in Turkish and he complimented my pronunciation. We are planning on visiting him when he goes back to Turkey. I have always wanted to go to a country named after a bird.
John is a musician who is composing and arranging a rock opera right now called Garfunkellnuggin. Actually, I don't really know, but it is a nordic Vikinger name like that. John, if you are reading this, send the info on your upcoming show and we will put that in here.
Our shuttle driver was in a mood the whole way. Oh wait. No, he wasn't. His name must have been Richard.
We made it to the airport and flew to Altanta for our connector flight. The flight from Altanta to Ontario sucked. Delta dropped the ball on that one. There were no vents on the flight. It was very hot and uncomfortable. We were in the seats in front of the exit so our seats didn't recline, yet the people in front of us could recline so far they could see up my ass. I tried to work on my laptop, but I had no room to set it properly. I could use it if I wanted to type on my chest. I was very disappointed. The only decent part were the flight staff. Very polite and good attitude. Of course they were. They probably had vents and could stretch their legs.
We touched down and me baby brother Rotgut picked us up and we finally made it home. We got in the door around 12:15 in the morning and we in bed and sawing logs by 12:16 or thereabouts.
The trip was great. We love getting away and experience new places and things. The town was beautiful and the food was great. I recommend Fell's Point to anyone looking to travel. The restaurants were well run and it was just nice and quaint and restful. Pubs punctuate the streets offering a buzzing, but not overbearing nightlife. The harbor was picturesque as was the town. I am rested and ready to take on the world...until tomorrow.
By the way, pics are coming. We took around 700.
