Alright. I am here. I know I have neglected all three of your that check back here regularly. I appreciate your nagging me.
I have many reasons that I can make up as to why I have not updated, but really, I have just been overwhelmed with stuff I have been doing and a little depressed lately. I had surgery on my foot and it is taking a lot longer to heal than expected. So much so that I had to miss the Ojai Pyrate Faire these past two weekends.
Okay though, right now I am off work for Fall Break. That is right, Fall Break. I love being a teacher. Yeah the kids are a pain in the ass, but I get a lot of time off. Though to be honest, I work my ass off. I can't imagine not having the time to regroup. As it is, I have a couple of my students who I am trying to figure out how to best help them. Even when off, I am still working.
Upcoming on October 18th and 19th is Loyal Order of Reenactment Enthusiasts...LORE. I am doing a presentation. "Cutting Wit; The Edged Weapons of the Pyrates." I implore you all to come out and participate in the classes offered. Some are great and some suck. Our goal is to make them all great.
The Alliance of the Double Cross is having two classes. Mine and Captain Greydog's class on the history of black powder firearms. He is just the cat's pajamas and really knows his stuff.
I am very lucky to have another captain of our Alliance assisting me, Capt. Sam "Iron" Flint. He is a bastard, but I love him. Not in a gay way...but I am willing to learn.
Now, much has happened since the last good intentioned posting. There was Stiletto 3.5 the final burlesque show for this group. The promoter Rachel Lazerus-Soto, has moved up to Northern California. We will definitely miss her. Anyhow, the pics are coming. This was by far the best of the shows. The dancers were so freakin' hot. Very sexy and very clever performances. These really heralded back to the days of fun burlesque.Jewel of Denial, Veus DeMille, Renee DuJour, Vixen Violette, La Cholita andothers were simply fantastic. Not only that, me sexy wife Salma Gundy was an usher again. HOT HOT HOT. Man, it is good to be married to that. That is right, I ain't gettin' any from that. Aren't you all jealous. Maiwwage. Pictures to come.
By the way, for the more intriguing pics, shoot me an e-mail and request them. They will be up soon.
San Diego Comicon was here and I was in a fucking wheelchair. I had the wheelchair Nazi pushing me. Yes, my lovely wife felt that because of the wheelchair was in use that we needn't look around, but rather barrel through people. I know she is a sadist but really.
We took me baby brother Rotgut and his lovely fiance Miss Peachy Pie (formerly Powder Kegs) and my half blind father, 'One Eyed Willie." What a joyous event. Actually, it was fun but being in a wheelchair I understand a lot more about the plight of the handi capable. I was not handicapable mind you. I looked like a special needs child in my wheelchair and gloves. I mean really, look at my pic with Pikachu (which I am not really a fan of, but who wouldn't want a picture with a gigantic tennis ball that can kick your ass?). I look very special indeed. We will be having my telethon at the end of the month of October. Start pledging now.
I got to see Mick Foley again and thank him for the autographed picture he gave to my classroom. I almost ran over Bruce Davison the actor from a bunch of movies, primarily he played Senator Kelly from the X-men franchise. He was great. He said to me, "Get out of the way you freakin' gimp." Just kidding, actually, we exchanged a recognized "Hey." I think he recognized me from my role of the Maitre D' in the Kathy Showers kit "L.A. Goddess" or my ass from the making of the movie Contact. Ah, that is right, now you are starting to remember where you have seen me. There are the numerous amateur projects that I have been doing as well, however...
It was crazy packed, but most everyone seemed in good spirits. Now, as soon as we got there we found a corner stall for us to wait in until the doors opened. Out of freakin' nowhere a throng of people from every angel swarmed in and clogged our escape. Well, me baby brother doesn't like to be closed in (fair enough) and me dear old dad just can see shit, so me lovely wife Salma Gundy decided she would take control. "WHEELCHAIR COMING THROUGH!!! WHEELCHAIIIIIIIIIIIIR!!! EXCUUUUUUUSE ME, WHEELCHAIR HERE!!!!" And she used me to bulldoze the thousands of Twilight fans (yes, it wasn't the Beatles after all, but rather something more famous...the cast, writers, et al for the upcoming movie Twilight.). And in her zealousness, me beautiful wife Salma Gundy damn near decapitated me on a metal aisle pole blocking the way. Apparently someone from the United Way was there to move the barrier for this poor crippled man with goofy gloves and his cowboy hat.
Rotgut and Peachy Pie got to meet their heroes Shrek and Fiona. Frankly, fame has really done them a number. Fiona looks good but Shrek is all jacked up.
We hit the vendor room and I had quite the bonding moments in passing with other wheelchair users. Simple nod. I feel your pain brother. My wife is a pain in the ass too.
After about a half an hour, One Eyed Willy, who had freakin' dysentery or some other awful bowel dilemma was ready to go. What the Fuck Herman, cool your jets and find a clean stall. Anyhow, not to be slowed down, we sat him down next to a lifesize statue of Yoda and he thought he was talking to my grandfather for the next few hours. Pop kept telling us on the way home that these young kids these days and their fashions...
Anyhow, we got to see Spender the artist who created Booty Babes. He is a great guy and his wife is just superb. We love them. We bought a lot of stuff and my ass hurt from a long day of rolling. We left the Geek Mecca and made for home. By the way, go to his site and e-mail him and tell him to make a Salma Gundy pirate Booty Babe.
Now, back in June, the day after I got off work for the summer, me ma and I headed out to Arkansas to visit with the aforementioned grandfather, Cecil (whom I also call Pop) and his wife Ginny. It was sooooooo humid out thataway. We arrived and Ma decided we should go for a walk (she enjoys that shit) and I agreed to go with her. It was road kill cental. Take a look at the pics when I put them up. A big frog, a squirrel, an opossum, a banana (b a n a n a, I ain't no holla back girl...okay, I am) and other various dead critters. And the humidity was like a gazillion degrees. We went back and took a nap and cooled down. Lesson learned...sort of.
The week was great. The first night there was a massive storm that tore down old old oak trees and destroyed buildings. Whoopie! I was up late watching TV, the rain whipping at my window behind my head when my grandfather came in and asked what I thought. "Pretty wild." I responded. The next moring he shared how wide eyed I had been when he came in during the storm. I hadn't the heart to tell him that I was wide eyed indeed. It wasn't the storm though that created my bug eyed terror... it was the fact that he walked into my room naked. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH I AM BLIND!!!! I TELLS YA, WHAT DID I DO IN A PREVIOUS LIFE?!?!? Well, that was my major trauma for that trip.
We drove all over the nearby area. We went to Mount Magazine. Stunning. It overlooks this massive valley. I found that I had the need to clear out my intestines at every turn. What a wonderful trip. On the way up Mt. Magazine was no reprieve. We hit the Visitor's Center where the rangers are to visit and visit the restroom. One issue, the power was out. Unlike the womens' restroom, which had a window to light the room, the men's room was pitch black. Hmmmmmm. Perhaps I can wait...ten minutes later...can't wait. I had to MacGuyver will making peace with my gods. I busted out my handy dandy cell phone with a great big display window that provided just enough light to make sure I didn't violate the station floor and to help ensure proper cleanliness. (I should probably apologize now for what I did to the sink...in the dark and all...my bad.) Oh, by the way, the air wasn't on either. Nothin' like a humid crap, nuff said.
We also went to where Ma was born and to Miss Laura's Social Club...a whorehouse. I don't think my grandfather smiled any wider during the rest of the visit. We relaxed and had a good time visiting with friends and relatives that I had never met before, but welcomed us in as if we had known one another our whole lives.
My grandfather's half sister Dorothy Jean came to visit. She is one of my favorite people ever. She is beautiful and funny and most importantly, she laughs and my stupid jokes.
We kicked around with her for awhile and had a great time. All in all the trip was superb and relaxing. There were days we did nothing but rest. We took naps and chatted and watched TV. If you know me, I don't have TV. Too busy to watch TV, and you know what? There ain't shit on. Holy crap. What a bunch of tripe. Sitcoms just aren't funny anymore and people actually think they are clever. Oh well. my loss. My soapbox. Enough about my lack of visual entertainment.
Our travels were safe and fun and I got home just in time to have foot surgery. Whooopie!!! I have had pain all my life in my feets. I was born double club footed, had extra bone in my feet which push the tendons down and all kinds of other fun. Well, months ago I went to a podiatrist for my Planter Fat Ass itis. He looked at my other foot's x-ray and asked if that foot hurt. "Like a motherfucker" I replied. The rest is history. I went in and they cut some bone out and put some pins in and now months later, I am almost healed. What a pain in the ass though. I managed to put weight on my foot when I went back to work thereby splitting open the incision thereby causing a much longer healing period. fooey.
I have been doing little leather projects, but nothing really substantial. It has been difficult to do leather work with your foot up. But, soon I will have some new projects ready to be seen.
I have been customizing action figures though. It is tedious, but I am enjoying doing it. My figures are GI Joe Sigma 6 figures. If you have any laying around, feel free to send them to me. I will have some pics up soon of a couple I have done.
Not too long ago, I had my birthday. Me lovely wife Salma Gundy and I went to the Borrego Valley Inn in Borrego Springs. What a great,relaxing environment. It is so relaxing because there is absolutely nothing to do out that way. There is nothing in Borrego Springs. That said, the hotel was superb; beautiful and comfortable. They have two pools; one is clothing optional and is open til midnight. We got to the hotel around 11, shucked out clothes and took a refreshing dip in the pool. The stars were stupendous and the water was just right aaaand, I could get away without taking a shower for one more day.
After Borrego Springs we went and had a great birthday dinner at my parent's house. My parents, my brother Rotgut and his fiance Peachy Pie and we played Wii and laughed a lot. What a great birthday. Then the next day the Alliance of the Double Cross, namely Cantankerous Jan and Greydog threw me a little birthday feast. My close friends from the Alliance were there and Sam Iron Flint crashed the party--bastard.
Me lovely wife Salma Gundy got me a Nintendo Wii for me birthday and since then I have had to be in traction from getting my ass worn down by simply bowling. It is great and we have been playing a lot. I just rented the game Force Unleashed for the Wii and let me tell you, I am a badass Jedi master. Bite me Yoda.
I'm sure more has happened or will but you are just going to have to deal with this for the time being. Thank you for your support. I will get pics up as soon as I can get them resized and set up for the net. We are taking a little trip soon to the Terra Cotta Inn in Palm Springs to relax. Maybe I will write from there? Maybe not.
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